Elizabeth Paige

I lie to myself to be happy. I know how that sounds but contrary to the way society sometimes makes women feel, I know I’m not crazy. I was really sad for a long time. I was alone, sick, in between jobs, self conscious. There are days where every single one of those things is still undeniably true but I’m not sad anymore. I’m happy, really happy, and it’s because I started to lie to myself. When I was lonely, I would lie and say I was choosing to spend time with only myself. I had crafted lies to combat every perceived imperfection of my life. I got so good at lying that I began to believe them. Some days the lies are harder to tell than others but those days become fewer and farther between. Because practice (in this case of lying) doesn’t make perfect. It makes instinct. Without even being aware of it, I practiced my lies. And those lies became truths and those truths became my instincts. I want people to be happy. Even if they have to tell a lie to get there.