Linda Hershman

You never imagined you would be a statistic after all these years of marriage. Yet, you now find yourself contemplating or in the midst of what is known as gray divorce, a term used to describe splitting up in later-life. The numbers are even higher for second and subsequent marriages. Despite the high rate of divorce for boomers and seniors, little is being talk about regarding the specific challenges older adults face when their marriages end. Whether you are divorce curious, have made a choice, or the decision was thrust on you, I have solutions to the emotional, legal, financial, and parenting challenges you may face!

Parents of minors generally worry about the impact on their children when they are deciding whether to divorce. Once the children become adults, the tendency is to assume they are old enough to understand, and that the effects will not be that considerable. Adult children of divorce (ACODs) are expected to absorb the losses and move on when their parents seek a gray divorce - that is, divorce over age 50. However, ACODs frequently experience real consequences, ranging from financial to emotional. ACODs of color experience even greater impact when their parents split up in later-life. I speak to audiences about financial and emotional impact of later-life divorce when the children are adults. the financial and emotional impact of later-life divorce when the children are adults. Included are ways in which parents can support their ACODs as well as ways in which ACODs can help themselves set boundaries with their parents.

A mixed-orientation marriage (MOM) is defined as one partner in the relationship being either gay, lesbian, bisexual, or gender non-confoming. Only about one-third of these couples stay together after discovery or disclosure, and only about one half of the couples who attempt to remain together are still in a relationship after three or more years. Today's media depictions of MOMS lead viewers to believe that after a brief period of shock and anger, everyone eventually becomes one big, happy family. I address the unique challenges couples face when one spouse is ready to exit the closet. I present a balanced view to audiences from the viewpoints of both the straight and coming-out spouses. While most MOMs ultimately end in divorce, I offer ways to explore other potential outcomes. When the marriage does end, I provide concrete advice about how to heal as a couple in order to maintain healthy relationships with children and grandchildren.