In kindergarten my mom got called to the elementary school because I wouldn't play or talk to anyone. My low self esteem stayed with me through childhood. As I took a chance to move to Utah, go to college and find that "fairy tail" I would find myself in a battle for my mental and physical health. The battle was fought behind closed doors for survival. Through the survival period I was blessed with three beautiful children. The trials never stopped coming during this time. My first child I almost lost at 26 weeks due to a heart condition, she would make it. A few years later I would have my second child but he would come a full month early as I was rushed into operating room due to my body experiencing toxemia. I will never forget how terrified I was going in and how painful it was coming out. in between this time I had two benign lumps removed and fell into postpartum depression but like many moms didn't ask for help. Mom's are just suppose to deal with everything and not ask for vital emotional support right? I want to go back and hug that girl and say wrong, so wrong! Fast forward a few years and as things behind closed doors don't get talked about in our society, my voice was not heard or listened to I completely lost the core of who I was so many years ago, I lost my identity and fell completely into sever depression and anxiety. This same year my oldest had her heart procedure so she could be taken off the medicine she had been on since birth. The next few years would be finally succumbing to my back issues and being led by faith and the spirit to a good surgeon. About two years after this I welcomed my third child into my life. At this point I was tired mentally, physically and emotionally. then came November of 2020. I t will be one of those days that you just never forget. After a few months of the right therapist clearing the fog from my eyes, a good family doctor who kept asking me if I was okay the last 4 years, And a chiropractor that has become like family since my oldest has seen him for migraines. I was tired of being silent, weak and making up a fake answer when people would ask me why I looked so sad all the time. That one day in November I found my brave, I don't know where it came from or how I mustard up the courage but everything I kept trying to hide just came out. I became a survivor and never wanted to keep silent again. This is what's been so fascinating to me the last year once I found my superhero within all of my sidekicks started to appear and fade out the one bad. I started to regain my self-worth by working out, taking writing courses, had my story published on a DV site. I started to find my passions and purpose. I took a college course and got my certificate in motivational speaking to help others. Now I'm going back to college for elementary Ed/ special Ed and working on my first children's book. I am a Advocate for mental health, suicide awareness and Domestic Abuse.