Rachel Bernstein

All too often, people find themselves agreeing to things that they know are not a good idea. And, all too often, people wonder why did not speak up and say no when they had the chance. It is important to understand why we go along with things that we shouldn’t and why we betray ourselves and our own inner voice. The information in this talk covers why people find themselves saying "Yes", how agreeing to something helps to calm a powerful fear inside, and what drives people to ignore the choice and drive to say "No". It is important to state that I am not judging when people say "Yes" instead of "No". Instead, this is to help understand WHY it happens. This talk will also explore what one can do to turn this around, to say “No” and mean it if that's how you really feel, no matter the pushback or reaction you might get. It is important to know why we feel afraid to put our foot down.

It is a monumental challenge, and a source of great anxiety, to bring up a subject that you know might cause tension. That is why many important subjects go undiscussed and unresolved, and as time passes and the situation might be getting worse, you increasingly wish you had had the nerve and skill to bring this up a long time ago. There are important tools I can share here that provide people with the know-how and the confidence to tackle this challenge. This talk will cover -How to get into the right headspace before having this talk. -How to determine if the subject is important enough to bring up. -How to weigh the pros and cons of having this discussion? -How to choose the right timing for it. -Ways to approach the other person or the other people to let them know you want to speak with them. -The art of negotiating the rules of engagement, i.e. what would be acceptable and unacceptable for all parties involved, including yourself.