Steven Aragon

Personal stories are powerful holding insight and meaning and offering encouragement. My own story has taught me life can really suck. But it has also shown me when we take the time to dig down deep and look at these negative life experiences and events, we can get past the facts as we understand them to the hidden meaning they hold. I share my model of reflection and transformation serving as the basis for my year-long journey looking back and extracting the lessons from the negative experiences and events comprising my story including abuse, death, depression, and career burnout. It now serves as my approach to life going forward. Based on the idea Suffering + Reflection = Growth, the resulting insights helped me revise and replace outdated, unproductive, and unhealthy mental frameworks in order to find renewed purpose, clearer direction, satisfaction, and happiness. These growth outcomes can be experienced by anyone willing to engage in the process and should be seen as gifts.

I reached my pinnacle as a university professor after an 18-year career. I realized signs had begun emerging approximately four years earlier revealing I was no longer finding real pleasure, reward, or joy in my work and it was time to move on to something new. So what does a pinnacle actually look like? How do you admit you’re no longer happy in what you were trained to do and what you’ve spent your life doing? How do you subsequently dare to make a change because it no longer grows you? How do you know when to end where you still have something creatively left that propels you into what comes next? In this presentation I share how I went about finding the answers to these questions – including the litmus test I devised for myself – giving me clear insight allowing me to accept and understand the difference between the idea of a situation and the reality of it. Becoming excited for the next chapter of life to start.

Grief is a multifaceted response to loss. It can’t be “fixed” nor do we ever get completely over the loss. We only get through it. But in order to do so, it is important to understand grief is not just about the permanence of the person’s absence. It’s what we have lost as a result of this absence. During this time, I share my 18-year experience dealing with my grief over the loss of my mom. I discovered the intense emotion was rooted in the loss of three distinct aspects making my mom my mom. Once I understood this about my grief, I was able to find productive and healthy ways of responding to each area of loss individually and uniquely when the related emotions would surface. I share how I arrived at this place so others can potentially find this same place for themselves. As a result, I now believe some of the best living by those no longer here can happen through the people they leave behind.