World of Speakers E.29: Jessica Cox | Becoming adept at adapting

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World of Speakers E.29 Jessica Cox  Becoming adept at adapting

Ryan Foland speaks with Jessica Cox, the first armless pilot in aviation history and a master of adaptation. Born without arms she has learned to conquer physical barriers, and achieve the seemingly impossible.

Ryan and Jessica talk about how adapting to your situation is a necessary skill for everyone, and how a positive perspective can open door to unimaginable possibilities. They also discuss how from a small, niche start, Jessica successfully grew her speaking business, to now giving talks around the world.

Listen to this podcast to find out:

  1. How to take your adversities and turn them into your power.
  2. The truth about speakers’ bureaus, and whether you really need them or not.
  3. The number one thing you need to grow your speaking business [Spoiler: It’s referrals. Jessica explains how to get them.]
  4. How keeping a positive outlook can not only benefit those around you, but can be the difference between success and failure.
  5. Why flawless speakers are a myth, and how being honest about flaws makes great speakers.

DOWNLOAD AND LISTEN TO THE PODCAST ON ITUNES OR SOUNDCLOUD

 

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Transcript

Jessica Cox: I'm Jessica Cox, and I just spoke with Ryan on the World of Speakers, sharing how speaking relates to flying. I hope you can tune in.

Ryan Foland: Welcome back, this is Ryan Foland. Today I'm super pumped because I've got Jessica Cox of “Jessica Cox Motivational Services” and she is known as the master of adaptability.

Not only is she a black belt, but she is a pilot and she's a very unique and inspiring woman.

Jessica, how are you today?

JC: I am doing great. Thank you for having me on the show.

RF: Yeah, I'm super pumped. I’d like to start at the beginning and learn a little bit more about you.

I’ve checked out your website, I've looked at your social — super, super inspirational.

Talking about adaptability, you seem to have been adapting very well and you're inspiring others to do so.

Let's talk about your past and what brought you to where you are today.

JC: I was born without both of my arms, and since day one I have learned how to adapt using my feet as my hands and my toes as my fingers.

I've done everything you can even imagine, things you learn as a baby, as a toddler, I learned to do all that with my toes naturally.

I progressed through elementary school, going to public school, learning to do everything you do on a regular basis, I just do them with my toes.

RF: Wow, that is going to make people think twice when they complain about doing anything really.

I think adaptability is not only a skill, but it's something that you've actually mastered here.

Where did you grow up, where did you live growing up, and where are you at now?

JC: I grew up in a small town in southern Arizona called Sierra Vista, and that's south of where I live now, Tucson, Arizona.

RF: Okay. Growing up with that as the sort of challenge that maybe other kids don't face, how was that?

Was it to the extent where people were not sure how to deal with it and worked to where there was maybe negativity around it, or bullying?

Or was it something where people really were able to connect with you and you had that sort of support, and everybody around you was encouraging the adaptability?

JC: Fortunately, I did have such a wonderful upbringing in a wonderful community. My parents were phenomenal, my family and friends were great.

They actually had me convinced growing up for that first couple of years that I was normal, that this was my normal. I didn't think anything different of it until I was introduced to the public.

Being introduced to a world of people who don't normally see people without arms around them, they were the reminders to me that I'm different.

That social aspect of learning that I am different was the most difficult part. Dealing with the difference and how people reacted to it, how they responded to it, sometimes negatively, sometimes positively, in their different ways.

Learning how to deal with people was more difficult than doing even the basic things like learning to write with my toes in the classroom.

Ryan Foland with Jessica Cox - Quote on dealing with difficult people - World of Speakers Podcast (Blue) _ Powered by SpeakerHub

It was actually more of a challenge figuring out how do I deal with someone who is staring at me in the school cafeteria during lunch.

Figuring out how to deal with people who will pick on me or bully me for my difference, and how to be positive about it was very difficult. Oftentimes my mom would just tell me, "Just ignore them."

I learned the development of confidence and self-esteem was critical, and it was critical in the way I reacted to something that was either negative, or where I was uncertain as to how someone will react to me.

I just had to keep a smile on my face, I had to stay positive and remember the quote that I love by Eleanor Roosevelt which is,

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

RF: I like that, very true.

One thing that we have in common is that we both study Taekwondo, I studied ATA, I actually did study American Taekwondo, I was with that association.

I was bullied as a kid, I've got both my arms but I've got a bunch of freckles and to some kids, that was an excuse for me to be an easy target.

Martial arts are something that really taught me to speak without speaking.

I'm curious how did you get involved with martial arts, and how did that work for you?

Do you still practice? I know that you have won championships and all kinds of stuff?

I was kind of doing some googling and some YouTubing and had fun watching you in all your forms.

Tell me about that experience?

JC: The first time I was introduced to Taekwondo I was 10 years old and my mom brought me, my brother and my sister to Taekwondo; they were both born with their arms, so they didn't have this difference that I had.

She brought all 3 of us to this Taekwondo school and she spoke with the instructor ahead of time and asked,

"Would it be okay if my daughter who doesn't have arms joins in in the school?"

He said, "Well there's one thing, she has to have a good attitude, she can't have a bad attitude."

That was it, it was the start of the journey of Taekwondo which I even practice to this day. I have a class tonight.

One of the other things that was phenomenal about it was that I was angry and frustrated as a kid, and on occasion, I would take it out on my siblings and I would throw tantrums even to an age that wasn't acceptable.

My mom wanted me to channel this anger and frustration in a positive way.

I think it worked, because my brother and sister would say that they got kicked less, so I was kicking in a positive way, channeling this anger and frustration in a way that was very positive.

RF: Yeah, take it out on the bags, very classic. I too was able to take that frustration out.

How did the pilot training come about? For you to want to be able to become a pilot, that sounds like a fascinating story.

Personally, I prefer sailboats over planes, because there's less room to fall, and falling is a little bit easier when you're not in the sky.

Tell me about that, how did that all start and how's that going?

JC: It's funny that you say less distance to fall in when you're in a boat or on the ground.

That was something I had to get over because I had this great fear of losing contact with the ground, and that was the fear that I had to conquer in order to become a pilot.

I had my first opportunity to fly in a single-engine airplane at the age of 21.

I was just out of college and I went up on my first flight in a small airplane, I had never been in a small plane before.

I had this experience where the pilot asked if I wanted to have my foot on the yoke and I put my foot up on the yoke, I had this feeling of what it was like to steer this airplane yoke in the air, and it was truly incredible.

I made a commitment that I wanted to become a pilot, and it wasn't going to be how I was going to do this, it was. I was going to become a pilot and I was going to figure out how to do it.

RF: Yeah, a matter of when, not if, right?

How important is that mentality of when, not if when you're really looking at adapting, whether it's physical, whether it's a mental block?

That concept of, “This is happening, it's just a matter of I don't know when, but it's not a matter of if”.

How crucial is that for, I guess. your success and the success of others?

JC: It's critical, and it's so important to keep things positive. Because if you are positive about it and you're believing that it's just when not if, it really shifts a perspective.

You have a lot more to work with, there is a lot more room for opportunity, a lot more room for using creativity to figure it out.

Ryan Foland with Jessica Cox - Quote on positivity - World of Speakers Podcast (Black) _ Powered by SpeakerHub

Just addressing it that way really shifts the way you think about it. You get through hurdles. Sometimes you have a couple of setbacks and you don't see it is a failure, but you see it as just,

"That didn't work, but I'm going to keep going."  

RF: It sounds a lot like leveraging the concept of confirmation bias, right?

From an evolutionary standpoint, your brain wants to make sure that whatever you're thinking is correct, if you think you're going to be late, then you look for reasons to be late, and then you actually are late.

But using a confirmation bias in a when, not if format, you're really starting to put out there into the world that this is going to happen, it's just a matter of time.

Ryan Foland - Quote on using confirmation bias - World of Speakers Podcast (Navy) _ Powered by SpeakerHub

JC: That's true, yeah.

RF: With the flying, how long did it take you to train and to get that, and are you sort of a pilot now and you fly all around?

What kind of flying do you actually do?

JC: I am actually a sports pilot and it was quite the journey to get to that point of a sports pilot certificate.

It took three different airplanes, flight training with three different instructors, flight training in three different states, Florida, California and Arizona and numerous hours to finally get to the day that I fulfilled a childhood dream.

There is a vision I had as a child. When I was on the playground in elementary school, I would get angry and frustrated because I wanted to climb up the slide and I wanted to swing across the monkey bars, or run as fast as I could.

In fear of my own safety, this playground monitors kept me from going up the slide, and so I would get angry and frustrated, sit on the swings and close my eyes and vision flying over the playground.

Unknowingly, that planted the seed to one day become a pilot and years later, it became a reality.

It was an incredible accomplishment for me, because I had not only overcome a lot of logistical challenges, but also overcoming this emotional challenge of losing contact with the ground, that fear, the emotional fear.

RF: At what point did you take your experiences to the stage?

Were you always talkative and gregarious or was that a difficult transition to sharing your story, basically as public as it gets, public speaking?

JC: By no means was I a talker or a speaker, one to stand up and be the outgoing one in the group.

That was not my personality, in fact, it was quite the opposite. The school magazine in high school labeled me as the shyest person in school!

If you'd asked all the people who graduated with me in high school about the possibility of becoming a speaker, they couldn't even imagine that, for me who was labeled the shyest in my senior class.

I had this opportunity one day. My first time to speak in front of a group of seventh-grade students, I was a sophomore in high school.

I spoke to this group of seventh graders and shared my life and they were truly inspired and I had no idea that sharing my life would help them in their own way.

It kind of gave me a taste for speaking and I started to volunteer my time speaking at a couple of events and a couple of groups to share a little bit of inspiration.

It turned out that it gave me this idea that I could, in fact, turn this into a full-time profession.

And now it's been 12 years of that wonderful profession of speaking and sharing the message.

RF: Wow, how incredible.

From the stage, what is maybe your main message? Is it really this adaptability?

I know there's an inspirational component, but if someone were to say, "She's going to come to the stage and _______."

What would that be?

JC: I have 3 points I talk about on stage. I talk about desire, persistence, fearlessness.

The beginning topic is the phrase that I've coined, "Think outside the shoe." Of course, that goes along with the skill of adaptability that everyone has.

When I say, "Think outside the shoe," I mean that any challenge, any obstacle can be addressed in a different way and it can be figured out in a different way.

Ryan Foland with Jessica Cox - Quote on thinking outside the shoe - World of Speakers Podcast (Blue-Grey) _ Powered by SpeakerHub

I start off the story about learning when I was on the playground how to tie my own shoelaces and I learned how to tie my laces with my toes and my feet, but I had to do something different from everyone else.

Instead of having my foot inside the shoe I had to have both feet out of the shoe so that I could tie the laces first and then slip my feet into the shoe.

That's why I came up with that phrase, "Think outside the shoe."

RF: I dig that, that's very cool.

It sounds like at the end of the day, it's really a resilience of creativity, right?

Do you feel that everyone has that creativity bug and that adaptability bug but maybe they just don't tap into it?

JC: That's very true, and so often we don't realize that there is this skill that we all have.

Now naturally, I had to develop it out of necessity because I didn't have the arms and hands, but everyone has that same skill.

If they were given some kind of obstacle or a challenge, they'd figure it out and they'd work with what they have, they would adapt.

That skill is something that I love to share and remind people of as I stand up there and do different things and speak about different topics, and showing them this message that they can adapt to any challenge, any obstacle.

RF: Speaking of skills, let's talk about the skills that you can share with people that made you go from the shyest person, voted shyest of shy, to now 12 years in a professional speaking career.

In that skill gap from maybe others who are currently shy or they are afraid to take the stage, or they are proverbially afraid to step on the mat or take off into the air, what are some of the most valuable, tangible nuggets of speaking tips for the person who is the most shy person in the world, to becoming someone who is comfortable and confident sharing their message, whatever that may be?

JC: One of the things I had to learn early on in my speaking career was that when I go up on stage, it is not about me up there, but it is about every single person sitting in the audience.

Ryan Foland with Jessica Cox - Quote on talk being about the audience - World of Speakers Podcast (Blue) _ Powered by SpeakerHub

The moment I made that transition in my head that this is not about me, it made me realize that if I go up there on stage and I made a minor mistake it only makes me look more human to the person sitting there in the audience, who may be intimidated by the fact that I'm actually up there and doing this in front of hundreds or thousands of people.

Once I was able to make that shift and really understand that I am trying to be a human being, connecting with people when I go on stage, that this is more important than having a perfect delivery or a perfect message, or a flawless speech, then I'm able to be as down to earth, as human as possible, and making that connection is the most important thing about the experience.

RF: It makes me think of — I am just making this up now, but having flaws makes you flawless, kind of, sort of.

Because at the end of the day, this idea of flawless, it's really nonexistent because you're not going to connect with people unless you sort of share your flaws, whether they be personal or just stumbling along.

Ryan Foland - Quote on why there are no flawless speakers - World of Speakers Podcast (Navy) _ Powered by SpeakerHub

Okay, so you get somebody who is getting up there and they realize that it's not about them, it's about the audience.

One of the things I'm always curious about is the pre-talk ritual.

Are there any things that you go through or specific processes, thought processes, breathing exercises? What do you do before you step onto the mat for a competition or get onto the stage for a major presentation?

JC: One of the things I do right before walking on is I say a little prayer in which I hope that if there's someone out there in the audience who needs to hear something, that I'm able to deliver it.

Because everyone, in our lives, we have those days when we feel like we want to give up, or we feel hopeless and sometimes it's that one person who walks in our path or comes across that has given us that little bit of a reminder to just keep going, or a little bit of hope or inspiration.

I always say that before I walk on stage, I say,

"I hope that if there's someone out there who really needs to hear something special today, that I'll be able to deliver that, to the best of my ability, and I'm able to inspire people and give them the hope that they need for the day."

RF: Very cool.

I'm an analogy guy, I like to make metaphors and things like that — are there any things that you learned while you were training as a pilot, or when you're up in the sky that relates to a speaker or speaking; like speaking tips from a pilot, essentially?

Anything you can think of on that note?

JC: Yes, I love this saying in aviation, in becoming a pilot or a flying, it's, "Pilot in command."

The reason I love that saying is it goes back to a story when I first was given permission by my instructor to essentially do what's called “the solo flight” and that's the moment when your instructor gets out of the airplane, you are then pilot in command of that airplane, and you take over this airplane essentially.

It's only you behind the controls.

In that moment that my instructor gave me permission to take off on my own, it was the most incredible, empowering, freeing sense of independence, the moment I took off.

Before I took off, my instructor gave me one piece of instruction. He said, "Don't take off until you can hear me and we can communicate and stay in communication on the radios."

I tested out my radio and I pressed on the push to talk which are on the yoke of the airplane, I could hear him loud and clear, he could hear me loud and clear, it was fine we could communicate.

And so he said on the radio, "Go ahead, you can take off now."

And I took off with this incredible feeling of empowerment and I turned my first crosswind turn, which is essentially the first turn you make in this pattern that you're flying.

All of a sudden I heard static and I started to panic and think, "Oh no, don't tell me that's the radio".

That's the one thing my instructor wanted me to be able to do, it was to stay in touch with him because that's essentially our last way of staying in contact.

And it sure was, it was actually the radio, something was wrong with my headset or the radio. I tested it out, he could hear me apparently, but I couldn't hear him so there was no communication.

I started to panic thinking, "What am I going to do, this had to happen on my solo flight of all flights."

Then I remembered what he taught me, "Fly the airplane first, everything else is second."

I immediately snapped out of that stressed out mode and I came in and I landed ever so beautifully and I climbed out of that airplane, not only as the pilot in command of a 1945 Ercoupe 415-C airplane but, I was pilot in command of my own life.

That whole concept of being accountable and believing that you are “pilot in command” is critical for anyone.

RF: I'm going to take the liberty of substituting speaking for flying.

Speaker in command — I've heard a lot of advice, but you are a speaker in command, that's awesome.

The fact that speaking is what comes first and everything else comes second, that really is that mentality that it's not about you, it's about the fact that maybe you're the pilot with all these people in the audience, and your focus is on helping them to land on that destination, which is essentially the information that you're giving them.

JC: I love it yes, that's true.

RF: Speaker in command #SpeakerInCommand. You're on Twitter, right?

JC: Yes.

RF: And your Twitter handle, I think it's @jess_feet, right?

JC: Yes, that's correct.

RF: Okay, for everybody out there, if you feel like you are at some point in your speaker training and in your speaker path, in your journey, and you get to the point where you take the stage and you are now no longer a trainee, you are actually flying on stage, definitely hit up Jessica and myself on Twitter, and we want you to use the hashtag, #SpeakerIn Command.

That'll be really fun and if you hear Jessica speaking that would be a fun thing saying, "If I inspire you to speak, let me know," that would be an awesome hashtag to follow. #speaker in command.

It actually makes me think towards like all these other "in commands", right.

Let's say that you're flying, you are "speaker in command", you've got these different controls, you've got the outside factors, you've got the wind, you've got the lightning and the thunder.

Are there any other tips that you can give speakers when they're in flight and they have a whole audience that's onboard?

JC:  Don't get hung up on the small stuff.

For example, in that situation where I could have got hung up on this issue with the headset, I could not communicate. Ultimately, I was pilot in command.

If you're a speaker in command, if you have like a little glitch or a technical problem, or some kind of hang-up, you forgot something in your speech that you wanted to talk about—it's best not to get hung up on it, just keep moving forward.

If you can bring it back up great, if you can't, no worries, each speech is different.

Every speech is a different experience for your audience, and it's not meant to be the exact same thing every single time.

Ryan Foland with Jessica Cox - Quote on diversity of talk - World of Speakers Podcast (Blue) _ Powered by SpeakerHub

RF: If you're in a car and you're driving the same route, to some extent it's almost the same route, but when you're in the air, just like speaking I think, you're never taking the same route, right.

You can try to fly the same course but technically, there's always going to be a difference in altitude, a difference in speed, wind, different factors. I like that.

What about the gauges, what type of gauges are you thinking about mentally when you are on stage speaking? You've got your speed, you've got your altitude.

When you're giving a talk are there any things that you're kind of monitoring while you're speaking to make sure that the audience gets what they need out of it?

JC: Yes, audience engagement is so important, and I have to always be aware of that. If I see the audience, if they look like they're about ready to fall asleep, I have clearly not engaged them!

That is something that is so important, because after all, again it's about them and not about me up there.

Even if I have to get through certain points, if it's not engaging them I have to kind of feel it out and make sure that I'm doing something that constantly is engaging them, is connecting with them.

It's something that's important. It is just staying aware of how the audience is taking it all in.

RF: What are some of the things that you found gets people back into it?

I know people have different types of openers and things in their speaker toolkit to get people to root up.

Is there any go-to strategy or things that you do if you feel like the energy is low to sort of snap them back into liveliness?

JC: Yes, there is one thing I love to do on stage and that is volunteer engagement.

I have a volunteer, say for instance, I am speaking to this audience and it is starting to look like people are starting to get tired and not really connected or interested, I will break it up by bringing a volunteer up from the audience and I have this volunteer do something that is a challenge that they have never done before.

It is incredible how that will just break this monotony that's going on, and it will really enliven the audience.

The moment there's someone up there who could be one of them, it could be them, and they're up there working on a challenge with me, it's an incredible way to re-engage them.

RF: Do you actually bring them up on the stage with you?

JC: I do. I bring them up.

RF: Give me an example of something that you challenged somebody with.

I think people understand the idea of getting involved and they might be scared to bring somebody up, but how do you know to get them to do something that they've never done before?

What's a fun example?

JC: For example, I like to bring someone up and I'll say something like, "What if you didn't have arms, what would you do with this particular challenge?"

And right on the spot, they are essentially adapting under pressure. It's incredible to see what can come from that.

At times it can be entertaining, and the audience will be cheering them on and really helping them and getting them involved.

I always ask for the audience, "Can you raise your hand or your foot if you have an idea for this person how they're going accomplish this task?" It works well.

RF: Wow, that definitely will get people engaged and I think that just that concept of having somebody try to do something but limiting what they have the ability to do it with definitely does spark those creative juices. That's fun.

One thing that I saw in some of your talks, is that you're actually pretty funny!

How do you incorporate humor, and how important is that when you're up on the stage, talking?

JC: Humor is so important, because the moment I walk up on stage, the first thing out of my mouth is something humorous.

The reason why is because I have a very short period of time--seconds, to create a relationship with the audience.

Ryan Foland with Jessica Cox - Quote on creating relationship with the audience - World of Speakers Podcast (Black) _ Powered by SpeakerHub

Naturally, if you see someone who doesn't have arms, there's a lot of different ways to react to that, some people will think,

"Oh my gosh I don't think I could do it if I were her, if I didn't have my arms."

Or there's pity, there's curiosity, there's a lot of questions in people's minds the moment I walk up there.

I want, in a very short period of time, to break the ice and make a connection, and humor does a wonderful job of that.

RF: Very cool.

One of the lines that I heard you say is that when kids ask you stuff, you kind of look at them seriously and say, "This is what happens when you don't eat your vegetables." I like that one.

From a technical standpoint, it sounds like for you it's really about connecting with the audience, it's about breaking the paradigm that they might have initially when you step up on stage. Using humor to do that.

And then, when you're "speaker in command", you're really just flying the plane not worried too much about the particulars but making sure that you're getting everybody to the destination that you're after. So that's very, very cool stuff.

One thing that we want to really cover here in sort of the third part of the show is how you've had success and built your business over the last 12 years, and that's a long time to be successful in your own right.

What are some of the things that you could share with people that either worked and/or didn't work in your path of booking gigs, to building your brand, things such as that?

What comes to mind?

JC: I think there are a lot of different parts that came together to work.

I wanted to definitely get the story out there and I wanted to, in the very beginning, make myself known, and in order to get some press and to help with the marketing, to help with the PR and all that attention on me, so people understood,

"She's a speaker, she's available, and if you want to, just contact her, and she'll come and share this story."

I kind of went in a unique direction in how I wanted to create a name for myself as the first armless pilot and when I went that angle, it really gave me a lot of attention that I needed.

I started to get a lot of invitations from that particular niche--of aviation.

Having that niche of aviation companies, anyone associated with aviation started to build this foundation and started to get the word out there, and then they started to share with other organizers that may not have been aviation related.

It just started to build on itself.

The first couple of years were definitely the most challenging in the sense that I had to get my name out there, the story out there and get some good referrals, because personal referrals are more important than anything else.

Ryan Foland with Jessica Cox - Quote on importance of personal referrals - World of Speakers Podcast (Blue-Grey) _ Powered by SpeakerHub

RF: Now, did you find yourself speaking for free for a certain amount of time until you were able to sort of work up to getting paid for it?

Or did you come out of the gates with more of a tactic saying, "Here I am, here's what my fees are."

I've heard a lot of people say that you invest your time in building that ability to charge. How did that process work for you?

RF: I did a couple, but not very many voluntary speeches.

I would say that from the get-go I wanted to have a fee, now it was definitely not the fee that I charge now, but it was some kind of fee that I started out with.

I started to build and decide how I wanted to grow that fee and at what time it was appropriate to raise the fee, so that I am where I am today.

RF: Have you leveraged speaker bureaus in your path?

I hear the good, the bad, and the ugly, when it comes to that, but what have your experiences been with actual speaker bureaus?

JC: Well, I think someone said to me once, and I think it really summarizes it, they said, "Speaker bureaus come to you when you no longer need them."

I liked it when they told me that, it was basically like, "Once you start building your business and you start getting a lot of invitations and things, then you'll start to hear from these bureaus."

Ryan Foland with Jessica Cox - Quote on speaker bureaus - World of Speakers Podcast (Blue) _ Powered by SpeakerHub

At the very beginning I was thinking, "Well, maybe getting connected with a bureau would be my answer."

I finally realized, that that's not it, that I needed to be my own bureau essentially and getting my own gigs.

Because that's the most important thing, and then the bureaus will come after, if they start to hear about different clients who have hired you.

RF: Starting really with the niche into the aviation field, were you really hyper-focused on that?

JC: I was, but I wasn't limited to that.

If I had invitations coming from outside of aviation, I could see a fit for any particular group and any type of company, it wasn't specifically aviation related.

I just knew that my marketing was going to be towards aviation because of my connection with being a pilot.

RF: I often ask about strategy when it comes to developing a particular talk for a particular audience.

Do you have a process where when somebody contacts you, you find out information about the audience, what those goals are and then do you cater your talks to that?

Or is it more that you have these amazing sort of speeches and talks that you know work, and you are able to deliver those? Or is it a combination?

How do you approach creating your content for these different events?

JC: It's definitely a combination of customization and what message I feel is very important and will do really well for this particular event.

But some events, some conferences are themed and so it's important to ask the organizer if there is a particular theme.

One of the things I like to do is ask a lot of questions, to find out if there is a particular topic that would be very helpful for me to deliver today, because I know that some companies are challenged in some ways and maybe other companies are not so challenged in different things.

For me, it's important to be asking a lot of questions at the beginning and customizing it if it's important to do so.

If not, sometimes there are events that don't need that kind of customization and I'll just go out there and deliver my speech. So it's a combination of both.

RF: Gotcha. For 12 years you've been speaking, 12 years ago social media wasn't as prevalent as it is now.

I'm curious how you've integrated the use of social media in your business and in your marketing.

I'm assuming 12 years ago it maybe wasn't as effective as it is now, but what are your thoughts on that and how have you taken advantage of the social media component to booking gigs?

JC: Well, social media is a way to connect with so many people all over the world.

That's what's incredible about it, it is just an amazing way to even have a remote audience who are tuning into whatever it is you're doing.

Being a speaker is not just being a speaker on stage, it's about being a speaker with the different things I talk about in my everyday life.

Someone just told me the other day she saw me walking and I was just walking with my husband to the restaurant nearby in our neighborhood.

She saw me walking and she thought to herself while sitting in the car, "Well, if she's exercising, than I probably have no excuse."

It turns out that now she's in a gym and has been working out for seven months with a trainer at this gym, and I just came across her just two days ago.

Being a speaker is more than speaking on stage, it's about connecting in everyday life and now with social media I'm able to use those experiences of everyday life to share with my audience, my social media audience.

Ryan Foland with Jessica Cox - Quote on connecting in everyday life - World of Speakers Podcast (Black) _ Powered by SpeakerHub

RF: Now there are a lot of different platforms and people are always asking me, "What's the best platform to be on as a speaker?"

Do you have any advice for people who are confused about what platform is the one that works better for you as a speaker than not? Do you have thoughts on that?

JC: The social media platform?

RF: Yeah, if you were to suggest certain platforms over others or if you prefer one over the other, for speakers who are not sure which to be on, or they are intimidated by being on all of them.

What is your approach from the platform standpoint?

Do you have a favorite platform that you're on?

JC: Facebook is definitely the top of the list.

LinkedIn has been wonderful as well. Connecting with people who have seen me and have said wonderful things about the speech and then they connect me with other organizers.

LinkedIn has been wonderful to make those connections.

But social media and using Facebook, that is definitely also the top of the list.

Fortunately, I do have someone who does handle some of the social media, because it is challenging to do both, the business and social media, and that helps out a lot.

That's actually Patrick, my husband, who helps with that, and he has grown a significant following on Facebook, I think he grew it up to 37K followers on Facebook, so he has definitely grown that, and has helped with that.

RF: How important is basically the media and the press around your talks and what you're doing?

A lot of times people don't really talk about that media component and it seems like you've gotten a fair amount of media.

Do you have your own PR company that you work with or is this stuff that comes organically?

How is it that you seek out press or do they seek you out?

How does that process work?

JC: I do not have my own PR company.

The moment that I know that I'm speaking in a city, I will immediately connect with the media in that city, it typically starts out with local media if they come and cover a quick story, especially if it's somewhere I've never been before, it really helps to share the story and do a little interview.

And then that can turn into definitely a lot of different invitations.

Making the local media aware of my being in a certain area, especially if it's the first time that I've come here to speak, that's important to do.

It could be either sending out a press release or calling up some media that helps out.

Another thing I like to involve is the organizer of the event, or the company that's hosting me to speak.

They always have the best connections to their media, so using them to connect you with media in that area is even better than doing it yourself.

RF: Right. That's great to tap in.

I haven't really thought about basically activating that local media, especially through the organizers that are doing it.

If you were to sort of encourage others who have had the challenges that other people haven't, from a career in speaking, would you encourage people down that path who maybe have either physical disabilities or something that maybe have made things a bit more challenging?

The idea of speaking and sharing that story, is that something that you would encourage those individuals to try?

JC: Yes, I would, because there's never too much hope out there that people can provide.

Unfortunately, there is so much negativity most of the time in the media, and so it's important to be that positive light in the world.

I always encourage anyone who feels like they have a compelling story and they want to tell it and this is something that they would love to do, then I encourage them to do it, and to seek out other people who have been doing it.

I have been talking just last week to two other up and coming speakers, one of them is the youngest pilot to fly around the world and another one is a gentleman who was born without his legs and I just give them as much advice as I can.

There are speakers out there who will take you under their wing to help you develop your career, that's the reason I am where I am, there were a number of speakers in my life who helped me, I just contacted them and said,

"This is what I would like to do, but I need some help with this," and they gave me their advice.

A couple of speakers that come to mind are W. Mitchell and John Foppe. These are the speakers who were out there when I was a beginner and they knew they could teach me the ropes of becoming a speaker and what I needed to do to build a career.

RF: Very cool. Is it as simple as that?

Is it as simple as finding somebody who you want to reach out to and just connecting with them and saying, "I need some help"?

Or is there any tactical advice when you're making that approach?

JC: It's definitely easier if, instead of just calling someone up, you have to have something that connects you.

One of the things that I did was, I joined an organization called "The National Speakers Association" and that connected me with a number of different speakers.

Then my other friend, John Foppe, I just happened to hear his story in a magazine and I emailed him, but we had a connection, we had something in common.

So having some commonality is always helpful when you're connecting with someone who you want to mentor you in the career of speaking.

RF: Are you still in touch with these individuals today, as your career has expanded?

JC: Yes, on occasion I'll call them up or I'll visit with them or stop in if I am in their town or the city that they live in and I'm speaking there. So it's always amazing to stay in touch.

RF: Very cool.

Any final thoughts about speaking and a message that you would want to leave with individuals who are either wanting to speak, are speaking, or that's everything that they do?

Any final thoughts that you would want to leave with them pretending that they are in the airplane that you are flying to help them to get to where they want to go?

JC: I just want to encourage anyone who is even just on the verge of doing it, just start doing it, there's never really an appropriate time. You just do it, and you just practice.

Start where you are.

I think a lot of the times we want to feel like we have everything in order in order to just go out there and begin this.

Just start where you're at now, and you just start with what you have, with stories you have, with the message you have, with the speech you have. It is just important to make the decision to begin and to start.

Ryan Foland with Jessica Cox - Quote on making decisions - World of Speakers Podcast (Blue) _ Powered by SpeakerHub

RF: Well you've heard her there, whether you want to be a pilot, whether you want to be a black belt, whether you want to be a speaker in command, it all starts with starting.

I love this idea that it's not a matter of if it's just a matter of when.

Well, Jessica, this was very inspiring, I'm excited to keep in touch with you, follow your story, maybe we'll share the stage sometime soon.

I really appreciate you taking the time and mad respect for all that you've done and that you continue to do to inspire people to be the best that they can and understand that they can, not that they can't.

JC: That's exactly right, thank you for having me.

RF: Alright, well, we'll see you soon.

Everybody, check out Jessica and see what she's up to, follow her on Twitter, follow her on Facebook and when she comes to a town near you, make sure you show up and jump into her plane, because it sounds like together you will fly towards wherever you want to go.

Thanks, Jess, we will see you online and maybe share the stage some time.

 

A bit about World of Speakers

World of Speakers is a bi-weekly podcast that helps people find their own voice, and teaches them how to use their voice to develop a speaking business.

We cover topics like: what works versus what doesn't, ideas on how to give memorable presentations, speaking tips, and ideas on how to build a speaking business.

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